A Season of Thanksgiving

Hello my friends!

Yes, it has been quite some time since I have posted.  You know that I repeatedly get onto this computer and share my heart; my innermost thoughts and feelings about almost anything and everything.  So, I will with this as well as I can.  I will apologize ahead of time for anything that may seem jumbled, or not explained well in words - this is the best I can do.  I have gone through a season of .... confusion.  A season of turmoil.  These past few months have been trying, at best.  The devil, it seems, has been coming at me on all sides and the only reason that makes sense is that I'm doing something right in the eyes of the Lord.

That doesn't make it easy.  Doing right in the eyes of the Lord doesn't make it easy to stay strong, stand my ground, forgive hurt and continue to fight the good fight.  James 1:2-3, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." (NIV)  I have to be honest, "pure joy" has not been what I've been feeling lately.  And honestly, I have really let life and these things bog me down and get the best of me.  I felt like I had nothing to give of myself, nothing to offer that anyone would benefit from me.  I have been reminded recently that I started writing because it was for ME.  I started writing because my heart felt things, and I wanted to share a little piece of me with whomever wanted to read it.  If there were added benefits inside of that, something that gave someone a little peace, a little joy, a little insight, a little anything, that was just the icing on the cake.  I was writing for me, and for me alone.  I am not a "writer," and I never claimed to be an expert on any subject matter, including but not limited to life, love, children, grief.  I only know what I know for me.  I think sometimes... I don't think - I KNOW, sometimes the devil just puts enough doubt in our minds to make us feel like we're not good enough.  We take that small seed of doubt and run with it.  We do more damage to ourselves by believing that small seed he plants.  Why can't we have a small seed of faith?  Doesn't the Bible say faith as small as a mustard seed?  Just think about how little faith we would have to have to overcome the doubts that Satan plants in us.

This is a season of Thanksgiving.  I will admit, this has been one of the hardest holiday seasons I've had without our precious Morgan.  Maybe it was because the weeks coming into the season were already in a "slump" for me, I'm know sure.  But yes, my heart aches terribly bad.  The empty chair at our Thanksgiving table was almost unbearable for me.  In fact, in all transparency, I will tell you I had to get up, walk away, cry, get myself together and come back before I could eat.  I'm not telling you this for sympathy.  I'm telling you this because IT IS HARD!!!  If you have not suffered great loss, you know someone who has.  Please, just take a minute and say a prayer for them. 

On the flip side, YES!  I am thankful!!!  I am thankful for my family.  My loving husband - without him, I would not make it another day!  My amazing son, who loves his momma and is the best son in the world!  My parents, Kevin's family, my siblings, my church family.  My home. Yes, I have much to be thankful for and I praise the Lord every single day.  I am thankful for a computer, a blog and a little faith that brought me back to the keyboard.  I love sharing my thoughts, but mostly my heart with you.  I wish you all a blessed holiday season!! 😍💓🎄

Morgan's last Thanksgiving with us.  This was also her last selfie.

Uncle Kevin playing with Morgan and Sawyer -

Morgan's last Thanksgiving with us.

Morgan's last Thanksgiving with us.  Sawyer giving her a kiss while she was napping. :)